Marriage

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In the Christian tradition, marriage is a covenant; and within the Christian tradition, covenant is the normative basis for human relationships. A covenant differs from a contract. A contract is a “tit for tat” arrangement, where it is understood that if one party does not fulfill his or her terms of the contract perfectly, the contract is broken, and the other is free to walk away. A covenant, by contrast, allows for, and even anticipates, weakness and failure. The loyalty of the parties is promised “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” In this sense, covenant (and especially the covenant of marriage) is a model of the kind of unconditional and steadfast love God has for humankind.

Why get married?

Many people these days choose to live together without being married. The Church, by contrast, continues to encourage couples to enter into a covenant of marriage. Contrary to the usual caricature of Church teaching, this is not a matter of the Church frowning on people “living in sin.” Rather, it is because a covenant-relationship provides the security that makes it possible to fail, and yet survive. If you know that your partner is committed to you no matter what; if you know that forgiveness, and not abandonment, is the remedy for sin; it is much easier to hear criticism, and it is much easier to admit fault. And this kind of loving honesty is the bedrock of a strong relationship.

Why a church wedding?

A Church wedding isn’t for everyone. Christians say that the love between partners in a marriage is akin to the love between Christ and his Church (which is shorthand for unconditional “covenant love”). A Christian couple, in vowing their lifelong love to each other, is offering to make of their lives an open book, a sign of God’s enduring love for the world. We are meant to see in the ability of a couple’s love to withstand the trials and difficulties which beset them, the power of God’s love to heal a broken world. There is so much in our daily lives which would tempt us to doubt the power of such love, and so we are the more in need of willing exemplars. In “going public” with their commitment, the Christian couple places their love on the line. Their relationship is no longer just about themselves, but about what they can demonstrate to any who are watching. This is one reason that the Church insists that weddings take place in a public setting – that is, where people can watch. And it is, likewise, why the Church blesses the couple and their marriage. Theirs is a high and sacred calling, and the least we can do is call down God’s grace upon their efforts.

Who may be married at Christ Church?

The clergy of Christ Church are available to solemnize the marriage of couples, where:

• at least one of the two is a worshipping member of the parish
• at least one of the two is an Anglican Christian living within the parish boundaries
• one or both have a personal connection with the parish, and the consent of the priest in whose parish they are normally resident

Are there other requirements?

Marriage in the Anglican Church of Canada is governed by certain national standards or “canons.” Among these are the following:

Notice

The Anglican Church of Canada requires a minimum of 60 days notice. At Christ Church, we recommend a minimum of 6 months, in order to provide adequate time to fulfil all the related requirements.

Baptism

At least one member of the couple must be baptised, since the full significance of marriage in the Church only makes sense in the light of Christian commitment. The Christian denomination of one’s baptism does not matter.

Marriage Preparation

The Anglican Church of Canada requires all couples to engage in formal marriage preparation. In the Diocese of Calgary, approved weekend courses are available approximately every 2 weeks; alternatively, couples may choose to work with an accredited marriage counsellor.

May we "rent" the church, or bring our own clergy?

It is a requirement that all weddings solemnized at Christ Church be conducted according to the established practice of the Anglican Church of Canada, and that the officiating cleric be an Anglican priest in good standing.  Almost always, this will be a priest on the staff of Christ Church.  We are happy to invite clergy of other denominations to robe, and to assist with some aspects of the service.

How do we find out more?

Please contact the Church Office. You will be put in touch with one of the clergy, who can provide detailed information, and assist in both marriage and wedding preparation.

Renewal of Marriage of Vows/Blessing of a Civil Marriage

Couples who reach significant anniversaries, or who have successfully weathered difficult times, may wish to undertake a formal renewal of their wedding vows. This can be a powerful experience both for the couple, and for those whose own loyalties and commitments are thereby called into focus. To place oneself once again under the imperatives of Scripture, knowing now as one did not know then, the foibles and irritants of one’s spouse, the weaknesses and shortcomings of one’s self, is a compelling witness to our commitment to the covenant of marriage.

The Church is also pleased to bless the marriages of couples who have already been married civilly. The Church views civil marriage as every bit a marriage, and in blessing such marriages is careful not to reiterate or re-do such signs as the exchange of vows or the exchange of rings. What distinguishes Christian marriage from secular marriage is the willingness of the couple to serve as a sign for the Church of the power of love to overcome and heal brokenness, and the blessing which is pronounced upon them.

Divorce and Remarriage

The vows of marriage are sacred, and binding. Nevertheless, despite the best efforts and will of those involved, human relationships (including marriage) sometimes fail. The Anglican Church takes the position that when a relationship is no longer life-giving, but in fact has become destructive, it is often best for the couple to part company.

The Church blesses the remarriage of divorced persons in the light of its strong commitment to the vows of marriage, and its awareness both of human shortcomings and the divine imperative to forgiveness and fresh starts. The remarriage of divorced persons is undertaken with special attention to:

• evidence of wisdom arising from the circumstances of the failed marriage, including a realistic assessment of the role both parties played in the breakdown of the marriage
• the continued ability to fulfil any obligations arising from the previous marriage (for example, financial support to a spouse or children)
• the potential strength of the new relationship.

People who have experienced divorce often bring a maturity and humility to their new relationship which the Church honours and values. Individuals considering remarriage are encouraged to be in touch with one of the clergy.

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